Polygamy in Pakistan
The interpretation of the sacred Quran varies quite significantly within the Muslim community. If you, for example, look at the surah regarding polygamy in Islam, you will find this: "And if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with the oppressed women, then marry from among them two or three or four, but if you fear you wont be just [even then], then marry only one" (Quran 4:3). What does this mean in reality?
I think the answer can be found in the writings of the chairwoman of the Theosophical Movement in the UK, Dr Annie Besant, who declares in her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammad, that pretended monogamy in the west is like polygamy without responsibility because the mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her. I fully agree to her pointing out that monogamy with a blended mass of prostitution is hypocrisy and more degrading than a limited polygamy.
Women living in monogamy are not protected fully because men often enjoy extramarital affairs without obligatory economic consequences, and thus he can 'play around' without taking responsibility for his sexual conduct. Birth control and the ease of abortion have opened sex for fun to western women but she is still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion and the side effects of birth control methods, often left alone by the man with whom she has had intimate relations. If the man has numerous mistresses and illegitimate children, his relationship is left unpunished in many countries. Polygamy, on the other hand, means protection for women united to one man, with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, contrary to being seduced and then cast out into the streets perhaps with illegitimate children outside the rule of law.
Howsoever you, dear reader, adhere to monoggamy, the truth is, that, historically, polygamy was permissible in all religions as described clearly in the History of Polygamy.
I personally never knew but came to know now - for the first time - about the history of polygamy. I wonder why this ancient habit has been totally banned in all religions except in Islam, as far as I know. Surely, it is based on the fact that historical customs are bound to change in the course of centuries, a natural development, going hand in hand with equal opportunities for women.
However, reflecting the sense of surah An-Nisa 4 in the Quran, permitting the male to marry more than one female, I cannot find any kind of discrimination against women. Originally, a Muslim husband is meant to be allowed to care for orphans who have lost their husbands, sons, fathers or brothers in battle and consequently to marry up to three more females. If husbands are able to care for them rather equally - financially as well as emotionally - and the first wife does agree to the second wife, then why do some people make such a fuss about it? Why are they ridiculing and abusing the lucky man blessed with two or more spouses?
Since nowadays there is no continuum of battles like in ancient times, the tradition of polygamy has become less valuable but there are still reasonable arguments for some men to marry two (very seldom more than two) women. Muslim Family Law section six has laid down "that no married man contract a second marriage without the permission of Arbitration Council, which shall ensure that the man had good grounds for second marriage and had obtained his first wife's permission to do so." So, why are those lucky men, and more so the second wives, still hated and unappreciated by the first wives in various cases?
It should be considered by deeply religious Muslim women, who are observing the rules of Islam, that Prophet Mohammad (may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him) gave the world the ideal example of a chaste life up to the age of 25, then a monogamous life with a noble widow and a polygamous life after the age of 50. He married the young and the old, the widow and the divorcee, the pleasant and the emotional, the daughters of tribal chiefs and freed slaves. He was an example of perfection in all the diversity life had to offer. So it should be beyond all question for Muslim women to follow the Prophet (PBUH) in adoration and veracity, ignoring all sorts of jealousy, envy and grudges.
What I consider as an affront is the bad habit of some first wives to renounce the prior permission to the husband's second marriage and, what is worse, to threaten the husband with divorce, knowing very well that in all probability the custody for their joint children will be awarded to the wife. Their intention to punish the husband in this gruesome way will only lead to more desperation at all levels.
Perhaps it is not known in Pakistan yet that even in Germany nowadays there are males who live with more than one female. They do not have to get married to all of them (which is not allowed here), but care for each of them equally and give all of them an equal footing. It works. In some cases, it also works with females loving more than one male. If true love between humans, as many as you like, is unconditional and not possessive then the development of mankind is growing by leaps and bounds
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